A man who loves touch for the sake of touch, whether or not it leads to sex, is sexy. But now, at 52, I don't really have a "type. We need some context, maybe a prop for scale. Women are firm on this one:
None of these answers seemed to fit. When I was younger, I tended to like men who were tall, thin, and dark-haired. It means you're not trying to put the responsibility for the sexual health of everyone in the relationship on her. Did I notice eyes? Both men and women find receiving multiple texts in a row to be not-that-chill, although men hate it slightly more. This means he can tell you what he wants, when he's afraid, how you make him feel, what he did that he's made amends for, what he's overcome, what brings him to his knees. Having it brushed or played with is like an intimate, at-home version of a head massage, and plenty of women find that irresistible. But mostly I reflected on the intangibles -- qualities, values, character traits -- a man must possess so that I want to send plates flying as I crawl across the dinner table and lower myself onto his lap. This perplexed us at first. Smart people read nuances and see the humor in situations. Warmth -- It's exhausting trying to connect with someone behind walls. Strength -- I don't mean how much a man can bench press, although a nice set of pecs doesn't hurt. Sometimes I remembered how a t-shirt clung to one man's shoulders, or how another held my gaze unabashedly over a glass of wine. But just what, I asked myself, makes a man so sexy you can feel it emanating from him when he walks in the room? I've also found that stingy men aren't as good lovers as their more generous counterparts. Partnership -- The only place I want to be dominated is in the bedroom, and that still requires my consent. There is nothing sexier than a man who's grounded, who's in command of the impulses and anger that may have derailed him when he was younger, whose quiet confidence telegraphs, without a hint of arrogance, that he has nothing to prove. So just start playing hard to get, both in texting and IRL. A man who radiates quiet confidence, who is able to remain calm and centered in the face of challenges, makes me weak in the knees. Not only stingy with money, but also stingy with feelings. I let my mind wander over images of men throughout my life who have made my breath catch, and my skin tingle, just by being in their presence. While they may dazzle in the beginning, womanizers, scoundrels, and narcissists use lies, cheap tricks, and smoke and mirrors for personal gain. Even if a guy is hot, if his version of funny doesn't sync with mine, the sexy won't stay sexy for long. Men who know their exact suit measurements, meticulously launder their white T-shirts, and wear clothes, like shorts that come above the knee and very tight jeans, that "manly men" might shy away from. Critical thinking, an unquenchable thirst for learning, and a gift for distinctive self-expression create, for me, a kind of male siren's song.
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