The best way to know what a woman wants in bed is simple: In the meantime, focus your attention on other less sensitive areas. Getting her to open up and hold still might take some gentle manual bondage. Focus on a slow buildup maybe start with a body massage or a make-out session , then pay special attention to the clitoris, which, for many women, must be stimulated in order for them to have an orgasm. This does not necessarily translate to another woman, so even if you have had a previous partner that likes oral sex a certain way, it is worthwhile to find out what your current partner likes.
If you treat going down on your partner like some kind of chore, she will certainly be able to sense that, which can take her out of the moment. If she wants you lick harder or have a pointier tongue, she will let you know. Next, when performing oral sex, you should try your best to be relaxed. Also, you do not have to tolerate being suffocated or having your head squeezed by her legs, so use your hands on the inside of her thighs to remind her if needed. Patricia Johnson, who co-authored Designer Relationships: Mind reading is overrated. A Guide to Happy Monogamy, Positive Polyamory, and Optimistic Open Relationships with Mark Michaels, said that humming while going down on your partner can create a rather pleasurable, buzzy sensation. May you eat heartily and regularly! How about some humming? If you think back to the ice-cream example, it may help you remember: Any hesitation or anxiety may be interpreted negatively by your partner and can be a source of distraction or turn off. You can start off with a wide, soft tongue and take it from there. Getting her to open up and hold still might take some gentle manual bondage. If the position she prefers is too hard on your neck, try lifting her hips up by placing a pillow underneath them, or by having her on her side and resting your head on the inside of her thigh. We asked sex educators and sex therapists to share their best advice on how to make it a very satisfying experience for all involved. Focus on a slow buildup maybe start with a body massage or a make-out session , then pay special attention to the clitoris, which, for many women, must be stimulated in order for them to have an orgasm. Attitude and enthusiasm are important. This is also less tiring, so you can go on for a longer period of time. She may be very sensitive, especially at the start, and going too hard or too fast can be overwhelming. A good example to follow is thinking about how you would lick an ice-cream cone. Men, do not underestimate the amount of razor stubble on your face and how this feels. One orgasm is great, but two is fantastic. It may take a little practice, but it can be a real turn-on. Just remember these are general tips. When going down on your partner, you can supplement some tongue action by using your hands to stroke the clitoris, play with the labia or finger her. Once you have found the right spot, women need repeated stimulation in the same area in order to reach orgasm. Some women cannot tolerate direct contact with their clitoris and need to have the area pretty wet for it to be comfortable.
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