Ditto if they break up. If, however, you notice that your friend is neglecting his or her own needs, it could be worth expressing your concern, without confrontation. You're getting too involved.
They have their own reasons. She's been there for you when things have been crap. Say Your Piece Then Back Off Advertisement There's nothing worse than someone making their point, and then droning on and fucking on about it. Give the guy a chance, he may just be a bit dickish when he's nervous. Luckily, she was right. Yes, he would need to get her permission far in advance to hang out with his friends, and then sometimes she'd show up anyway and drag him away. Finally fed up, her friend broke up with the guy, and Wiedner and her pals breathed a sigh of relief and confessed their long-simmering concerns. She was O'Malley's first girlfriend, and he liked the idea of having one, and he wasn't sure he could do any better. And before you do, take a moment just to see things from her point of view. Sometimes the discomfort is driven by a wish for things to return to how they used to be, or a sadness that a person's priorities are changing, but there are ways to talk about desiring general closeness without disparaging the partner, Bell said. Put yourself in your friend's shoes and consider if it is information you would want to have, Bell said. If it's distasteful behavior, Weinstein would apply the ethics principle of respect for others and recommend keeping your opinion to yourself, because chances are the friend is aware of the behavior and is choosing to accept it. Three years later, the friend — who was baffled at herself for not getting out earlier but not angry at her buddies for letting her figure it out for herself — is happily dating someone new, Wiedner said. Weinstein emphasizes having solid evidence, which means not just hearsay or one example, but a pattern of behavior based in fact. He thinks it's appropriate to follow up later to see if the person has any thoughts about what you said. O'Malley said his friends and family knew his college girlfriend was all wrong for him long before he did. She thinks her friend might have suspected a lack of enthusiasm, anyway, as Wiedner wasn't going on about how much she liked the guy, which she normally would. It's so easy to sit back and judge other people actions but like, you're not them. Other friends agreed that the boyfriend was no good. Catching your friend's mate at a bar with someone else might have an innocent back story, he said, and people should get the benefit of the doubt before you start sowing seeds of doubt. Acknowledge your motives Before saying anything, friends should think carefully about their motives, said Leslie Bell, a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist based in Berkeley, Calif. A bottle of cheap wine and a load of junk food will solve all. If, however, you notice that your friend is neglecting his or her own needs, it could be worth expressing your concern, without confrontation. What does she see in him? Say that in your head like. It somehow always gets back to them.
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