If I had the capacity to be honest with myself back then, things might be different. Airbrush out the negative stuff, keep your mouth shut when you're tempted to say something snide, and just make one simple change: If you're a divorced dad who split custody, you get a break from your kids.
It's a lot like the Peace Corps: Not being there to ensure their safety was pure anguish for me. Be there for them always. Your kids have got to deal with their own trauma without seeing you blubbing into your Rice Krispies every morning. I'm doubting my ability to do this and feel like maybe I'm not doing a good job. Remember the baked bean is your friend and the fish finger virtually a soulmate. Sixty-two percent of all parents are single, so your universe is wider than you think. You won't necessarily be lauded as a superhero. You were probably planning for the future before your divorce and before your ideal of a family disappeared over the horizon with its arse on fire. Between putting in the hours at work and coming home and putting in another four to five hours, I was beat all of the time. The harder you work to pay your maintenance, the less you see your kids. There are places you can go for support and Web sites to visit that are for single dads. I salute you for your efforts and this wonderful journey you're on. Be endearingly hopeless but utterly reliable at the same time. When I got divorced, I wrote a list — and the very first point was that I was going to be a good dad to my kids. Never doubt that you're doing a good job -- just know that you are. Remember that kids need a mum as much as they need a dad. I suggest you begin by typing in "single fathers" in an Internet search engine, and go visit one of those sites. Modify your love life Maybe the reason you got divorced is because you found someone new. A reprieve from the kids makes you more appreciative when you are with them. Your child is blessed! Everyone will have an opinion about you raising your kids alone. At the meal table. I was 25 and single but I had no time to date. Guy Browning, single dad and list maker extraordinaire 5. If I had the capacity to be honest with myself back then, things might be different.
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